Skip to main content

Beggars Would Ride

I cannot promise never to be angry, I cannot promise always to be kind. You know what you are taking on my darling, for only at the start is love truly blind. Yet, I'm still the one you want to be with and you are the one for me - that I'm sure. My closest friend, my favourite person. The lover and the home I have been waiting for. I cannot promise that I will deserve you from this day on. I hope to pass that test. I love you, and want to make you happy. I promise to do my best.

If wishes were horses they say... All I have been reduced to right now, wishes. How I wish our love was true. How I wish we had to say our vows. Our forever turned to never. 0 - 100 real quick. Yea, in the reverse format. Saying that you love me with look in your eye. What a cold hearted lie.

My entire world has fallen apart. My mind overflows with memories of you, of all that we shared. I long for your tender touch, your warm embrace, your soft gentle kisses, the smile on your face. Our moments together were precious and few, but I cherished them all more than you knew.

I never knew my feelings for you would continue to be so strong as they have, over the years. I didn't know a lot, until I saw you. Now it is hard for me to hate you. Even harder for me not to care, because always in my mind you are going to be there. Am I listening to my heart? Am I thinking with my brain?

How I wish I knew why you did it. How I wish I knew what you were thinking at the time. But then I know I don't want to know. Anything more would drive me insane.

I gave you my youth and you took advantage of my inexperienced heart and played with my emotions. I gave you the benefit of the doubt and you proved everyone right. I want to sleep but my dreams haunt me with you in them. What do I do? How do I stop this misery? How do I solve this mystery? I can't seem to find anyone to make me feel the way that you do. The way you look at me. The way you say my name.

How I wish I could erase the memories from my mind. For I fear that for as long as the sun shines, the wind blows, the rain falls...you will live on inside of me forever. Keeping in mind that, forgetting that someone that you love, is like trying to remember someone you never knew.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why Her Not Me?

Slowly I learn. I'm learning that being kind to myself is not being selfish. I'm learning that my body, my body is mine, and is not to be compared to any other. Slowly I learn that if you ever want to fall in love, you fall not for words, but for actions. You fall for the way their presence makes you warm, not the way their compliments make you blush. Fall like petals, ever so slowly and with all of your grace, not too hard into a place still unknown. If I had a thousand lives, I'd learn all the languages. But I only have one, so I will take pain to master the language that will bring us together, closer than ever, till the beginning of forever. I thought love was portrayed wrong in the movies, because how could something that beautiful be so effortless. I  thought it was supposed to be hard. That it meant I had to heal somebody for them to be able to love me. You showed me how wrong I could be. Now as I reflect on the taste of your lips, I know I let true love slip through...
Post a Comment
Read more

Trial and Error

  "Confused by your words and tempted by desire, I let you steal my heart. Then you tore it in two. While others saw it as lust and impulse, I, for a moment, thought ours would be a symbol of never letting go. The ache in my soul ripped at my gut. I burnt from within. My skin was on fire. Loneliness consumed me. I built a wall so high to keep the world out. The calm on my face was an ongoing sin. Hiding the pain. Hiding the hurt." His sheets were a shade of red. Her body lay motionless by his side. So peaceful and serene. Himself, head in hands. Eyes flooded with tears. He definitely felt like a bad person. Playing two hearts but also playing with his own. It felt like one was forever and the other for the moment. But the moment felt right. What if, the moment is not only for the moment, and it's forever too? 
1 comment
Read more

Between Dreams & Reality

Sometimes, the most precious things in the world are meant to fly free. They are yours for only a moment before they slip away, leaving you with a haunting sense of what-ifs. I’ve been in relationships before, but this time was different. This time, I was truly happy. She was like the scent of freshly brewed coffee in the morning. Falling for her felt like summer rain—at first, a light drizzle, then a hurricane; with thunder and lightning, intense and fast, meant to dishevel, but never to last. I still remember the first time we spoke. There was an immediate connection, like an invisible thread tying us together, something strong and unbreakable. When I say unbreakable, I mean that no matter how hard we tried to distance ourselves or un-feel what was between us, the invisible string kept pulling us back together. This was different from any relationship I had before. It made me reflect deeply and left me wondering. If she had stayed, maybe I could have loosened the threads enough t...
Post a Comment
Read more