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Shells of Loneliness

Rain Rain go away, come back another day...

I listened as it fell, as it washed away the dirt. Blissful rain. Secretly wishing and hoping that it would also wash away the heavy thoughts that filled my mind. Thoughts that still clung to the mouldering past.

Took a left turn and there she was. In the rain. Standing on the kerb by the roadside. The woman of my dreams. All my life, I have been waiting for this. This euphoria spilling. I went weak in the knees and my stomach went tight. I felt in that moment, this has got to be right.

What do I have to do to get her to notice me? For so long my heart's been controlling as I've wanted to make a move. Not sure what else there is to do and being unaccustomed to courage, I just admired her from a distance. Perfect, if only I could use that word to describe her. If she were within my reach, I could have touched. I wished I was as brave as the rain, for rain is never afraid to fall.

She closed her eyes, leaned to start the kiss. I start to think, I'll never forget this. Her lips so soft, so smooth. Her head bobbing up and down to make the kiss last long. Yet through all these wondrous time, she was kissing him... Not me. He plucked kisses from her pretty mouth as they flowered from her lips.

My rainbow faded into many shades of grey. Oh, that feeling that I hate. A feeling that would not obliterate. Sad truth being, there will never be a 'you and me.' We, the perfect definition of almost. Two parallel lines that get so close, they almost touch.

It is then I understood why they called them crushes. They crush your heart, mess with your feelings and tear you apart.

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