My First

I stood there, by the window. Watching the soft fading sun falling. Just like a vitreous fire falling to earth. Blazing in gold and quenching in vibrant purple. Looking like a beautiful painting with astounding shades of orange and beautiful hues of pink.

Thoughts rushed through my mind. Why does everyone want to lose it? Why did I want to lose it? Ain't it supposed to be somewhat sacred? Why shouldn't I lose it? Either way, tonight, tomorrow or the next day I would give myself away.

My father's words rang in my head. "Remember my daughter, the time has to be right for the both of you... Otherwise the moment won't be right for either of you." Was this the right time? When is this right time? "Don't be the 'other woman', the one that doesn't matter. Don't lose your virginity to some guy who doesn't care and in a way that's never great. A guy who's never there." He added.

I stood there, as delicate as a lily, hoping that the craving he had was not of using me. I didn't want to just make his body shake. To be a body for him to lie with. Yes, I was an apricot, ripe on a tree. Ready for picking. I was a cherry, offering to be popped. But I didn't want him to just take it, like it was a piece of gum that he could return if it didn't fit.

In silence, I stood still. Him, standing behind me and watching my back. He came closer and breathed on my neck, blowing the hairs east and north. I looked over my shoulder to see him standing there, naked and smiling. His confidence shone brighter than the twinkle in his eye.

I, a young girl... Still green, with that savory ocular innocence that's built to shadow my soft, fluid, longing intent that whispers, "I am open to you. I'm ready and willing."

In each others arms we held each other close. I felt as if my heart would explode with emotions. I was smiling. Where was my dress? Scared I was. Put on a brave face, terrified. But having fun. Tangled up in his arms. Our lips met. We kissed and I tasted pure heaven. There and then, I was exposed to such a wonderful sensation. A man's touch felt oh so good. His touch set afire my dormant desire. My body filled with excitement and anticipation.

I held his lips to my nipples and felt each one stiffen and swell in turn. The touch of his skin on mine took my breath away and made quiet my doubtful heart. I sighed as he worked me, sucking on my neck with his hands resting on the roundness of my hips. I couldn't control my whimpers of ecstasy.

I was at that point of no return. With an erratic pulse and feeling quite ecstatic. I couldn't bear separation for a second. He knew just how to drive me mad with the mere sound of his voice. As he whispered sweet nothings in my ear, my skin begun to sing. His tender touch sending tremors deep within.

He knew I wanted him. He knew I needed him.

He lay me down, getting ready to play. Like his mouth had the gift of reading and I was his favourite book, he found his favourite page in the soft spot between my legs and read it carefully, fluently and vividly. He dared not leave a single word untouched.

For just a split second, he lingered there. Hovering at my gate. Ready to pronounce the opening of that flower. That place of so much pleasure. A place where senses rise with so much elation.

Slowly, he entered the doorway of rapturous fulfillment. I felt him tear into me. I let out a cry as his erect phallus entered me. A rush of pain and pleasure filling my fragile body. Passion crept upon us as he tore deeper and deeper into my soul. Our bodies entangled as one. He tasted me and realized, he'd been starving.

Once, again, twice more. He stroked me tender, along every single inch.

I gripped his shoulders and pushed my hips upwards. He is so deep inside me. My breath comes in gasps as we move together.

I moaned his name in delight. I held him tight, so tight. He moved steadily. My legs enveloped him, my hands moved over his body feeling his chest, his arms, his plunging buttocks. I took his perfect buttocks in my hands. My moans got louder and he moved a little faster, rubbing inside me.

We got lost in a sensuous haze. Him leading me where he wanted us to go. Moving in rhythm.

My body, a ripple of pleasure. He moved his hand up my leg, bend it so it rested against me. He then pushed into me harder. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. I lay beneath him, struck dumb. All I had were cliches. Seventh heaven, cloud nine, nirvana. They couldn't come close, the throbbing, plunging euphoria.

We spent hours as he explored the fresh sweet air of 'us'.

Today, I stand by the same window. As the sun bids me goodbye, it reminds me of him.

I had spent all day getting ready. Hair straight, make-up heavy, body lotioned up. Put on my favourite bra and thong and a short 'sexy' dress to crown it all. I had told myself, that I had to look my best for him.

When we made love, all I could picture was him and I together... Always. But then he left. My soul emptied. As empty as a water dried well. All my sorrows gathered deep within me until I was ready to explode in tears.

I do not regret losing my virginity to him. I wouldn't want it any other way. It was amazing and life-alteringly wonderful. Still, I wish I had waited till I was older and my feelings were stronger. For in the end, my hymen was just another piece of me that he broke.