I Loved You

Time flies but this day must have hitched a ride on a tortoise's back. Nervous. Pressure was building. How was I to present myself? How was I to approach her? What exactly was I going to say? What if she reached her hand out to greet me and I was caught in the moment and failed to reach mine out? What if she came for a hug and I didn't let go?

We had met once, she as my client. At the time, I had to act professional. It was eminent, there was a spark. We could both feel it, but none of us was bold enough to point it out. That day ended with me handing her my business card. Had to save myself from the business of having to ask her for her phone number.

Two months later. Three missed calls. Unknown number.

"Hey! It's Vanessa. Why ain't you picking up my calls?"

Reading the text a third time I finally came to.

"I'm sorry! You understand the nature of my work. Talk to me."

Indeed, she had a heart full of emotion to talk about. Telling me how she had a thing for guys in my line of work. She talked about me being God sent. How my smile made her knee caps melt under her weight.

"Your dimples. My good Lord!"

Reversed roles you would say. The manner in which I was being full court pressed, I had no option but to conform. Sixty nine texts into the conversation and we had already been best of friends. Counting all the things we had in common. How we both preferred animations to horror movies.  How we both were the Netflix and chill type and not the club hoping type.

The days that followed were marked with lots of texts and a series of phonecalls. Waking up to good morning texts from her since I am a heavy sleeper. Leaving her those long goodnight texts for she was a loyal follower of the early to bed early to rise notion.

"Babe, I want to see you again. I miss you."

I had been baptised into a relationship. Just like that. Reality hit me so hard, I could feel food in my stomach churn.

"Babe!"

"Yes babe!"

"I said I want to see you again. When are you coming over?"

So, how does one miss, long for, lust after skin they have never touched.

"Babe, I really wish you were here. The thoughts of you have been swelling like seas, howling like winds and burning like wildfires inside my head today. But you are there and there doesn't really know how lucky it is."

Sometimes, the most courageous act a man can do, is let somebody love them. This is according to one Michael Xavier. At this point in time, I was feeling a lot more courageous than usual. Did I have any other option? I doubt. You'd understand if only you had met her.

Her dark brown eyes, those that sparkle in the light. Her smile, comes straight from her heart. So beautiful. She has this long natural hair that sits on her gorgeous face. She was sweet and free spirited.

It's funny how love grows out of nowhere. Without cause or premeditation. Her persistence and constant reminder of her love for me had pushed me to a point where when I closed my eyes and thought of love, all I saw was her face. And as time would have it, feelings grew. All I wanted now was to touch her so perfectly.

"Walk straight down, you'll meet me outside the second last block on your left."

There she was. Standing under some security light. Looking all beautiful. Her hair, natural and well made. The shadows on her face couldn't hide the red lipstick she wore. She stood there smelling so fresh. When I got to her, she leaned in and gave me a kiss. Not the welcome I was used to but it was one I'd always want to come home to.

"Welcome! Feel at home."

The room was scented, like it just had a splash of lilies. I relieved myself of my fornication bag, made myself comfortable ready to feed on whatever she had prepared for us. Before we knew it, it was headed for two in the morning. My head on her laps, her hands fiddling in my ears.

Two weeks down the line and we were all merry making. Never leaving each others side. Being with her this whole time, made me question whether I'd ever truly loved before. I had so much of her in my heart sometimes I thought I needed a spare heart to just feel all the things that I felt.

In the church of my poisoned mind, she was the cure to all my sins. Without a word, she could easily ease my pain. With a mere look, she absolved my thoughts. She brought me to pray at her altar. Her heart a blessing, her mind a treasure...her soul, true beauty.

"Guess what!" She said one night.

"What? You know I can't read minds mi amore."

"Okay then. One day I made a wish. I made a wish that one day you'd step out of my dreams and into my reality. That my sleepless nights would be spent loving you instead of missing you."

Saying that, she kissed me in the way the oceans kiss the shoreline, softly and repeatedly.

"But now when I miss you, I won't have to go far. I'll just have to look inside my heart because that is where I'll find you."

I kissed the words right out of her mouth, leaving her speechless and hurting for more. My thoughts wonder off to forbidden places. She meets me there. We wrestled in bed. The fight for passion and control of love. Every round consisting of a knockout; leading into a climax of ecstasy.

Its been about seven months now and those colors, they faded to grey...