Skip to main content

DoA?

I don't know how you did it, but you made me fall head over heels for you. I'm not the type to say what I feel. I basically keep everything inside. With you it was no different...at first. Maybe its the way you look. The look that slows my breathing while causing my spirits to soar. Maybe its the way you smile. A smile that makes my heartbeat roar. Maybe its the way you say my name or how you make me feel when you come around and instantly I forget all other stuff.

As days went by, I began to find that the feeling inside was one I could no longer deny. You amazed me in every way. Continuously took my breath away. You knew when I was happy and when I was sad. You even knew when the little things made me mad. You never gave up even when I would. Never let go even though I said you should.

The world nor the sky you did not promise me, neither did you promise that we shall never fight and that you would never make me cry. You promised to always be true to me. It was then that I realized, love is such a deep feeling of purity, perfection and true romance. I wouldn't know what true love really meant, if not for you. I'd never have the pleasures of romance.

You always knew just what to say. Just talking to you made my day. You had your own special way of turning my terrible day around. You are...you were my weakness. Perfection is all I saw whenever I viewed you through my eyes. My heart's desire. You took my walls down and left me bare. Just a glance at you made my heartbeat rise. Passion burning like a wildfire. I know for a fact that those feelings weren't lies.

"I'd be there when you need me." You said. Where the hell are you now? In another woman's arms? "For if love can stay strong when it is tested by fire, then we would share a future that most would admire". You said, but we are no longer together. What happened to forever? A future where love would always abide! Another year is passing and still we are apart. Torn apart. We broke each others heart. It's hard to believe you still care when months go by without a word. I must be blind. Blinded by a love I feel for a man who will never be mine. Don't you know that not a day goes by that you don't cross my mind? My body aches with hunger for you.

Come to think of it. I met this guy and saw a way to end the pain. Maybe make it all go away. But by loving him through thick and thin, I looked at him and wished it was you. It is then that it hit me, my feelings for him were not shiny and new. I could feel his heart break when he found out about my feelings for you. He was deeply hurt that I longed for your heart. Just like I did with you, he thought we would last. He was happy to be my man. Still, I longed for you...in my thoughts, in the centre of my soul. I yearned to see the affection in your eyes. I craved the safe warmth of your arms around me. Just thinking of you, my heart felt the fire.

My friends think I'm crazy for caring so much. That I'd gladly risk everything to be in your arms once again, to feel the magic of your touch. I've held others before, but it was never like this. My legs are shaking, just thinking about you. My whole body trembling for you. Divided by decisions and blinded by fear. Confused by your words as I drown in doubt. Struggling to be free, looking for a way out but I'm tempted by desire. My senses are reeling from the strength of desire. My arms are craving to hold you once more.

I know I don't need to prove my feelings to know they are true because what I have known in my past, doesn't come close to the experience we shared. Having had the experience of being in a relationship before (and after), I can say boldly that with you was the first time I was truly happy. Whenever I was around you, I felt like I was complete. Passion's burning flame, like a Lance, pierced my heart and it blossomed into one true love. I couldn't have asked for anything more. If I thought for just one moment that my heart would beat its last beat, I'd thank the Lord for allowing us to meet.

typing...

What else was there for her to say! Yes, we had moved on, as is mature and wise. So I thought. But love though long abandoned, never dies. If only she knew how much my love for her had grown, maybe! Just maybe, we could start something new.

My thoughts of you come frequently; always filled with you and me. All day goes by with you on my mind, no escape. No matter what I see or when, it brings you back to mind again. I just stumble blindly, unaware of my surrounding. Each day is filled with dreams of you. Dreams so vivid and clear. People say dreams have underlying meanings and not to ignore them. I say we both know what they mean and now I want you to hear. I hope all these dreams don't come true...because now, I'm in love with someone new.

Then the ticks turned to grey and now I can't even see her face...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why Her Not Me?

Slowly I learn. I'm learning that being kind to myself is not being selfish. I'm learning that my body, my body is mine, and is not to be compared to any other. Slowly I learn that if you ever want to fall in love, you fall not for words, but for actions. You fall for the way their presence makes you warm, not the way their compliments make you blush. Fall like petals, ever so slowly and with all of your grace, not too hard into a place still unknown. If I had a thousand lives, I'd learn all the languages. But I only have one, so I will take pain to master the language that will bring us together, closer than ever, till the beginning of forever. I thought love was portrayed wrong in the movies, because how could something that beautiful be so effortless. I  thought it was supposed to be hard. That it meant I had to heal somebody for them to be able to love me. You showed me how wrong I could be. Now as I reflect on the taste of your lips, I know I let true love slip through...

Trial and Error

  "Confused by your words and tempted by desire, I let you steal my heart. Then you tore it in two. While others saw it as lust and impulse, I, for a moment, thought ours would be a symbol of never letting go. The ache in my soul ripped at my gut. I burnt from within. My skin was on fire. Loneliness consumed me. I built a wall so high to keep the world out. The calm on my face was an ongoing sin. Hiding the pain. Hiding the hurt." His sheets were a shade of red. Her body lay motionless by his side. So peaceful and serene. Himself, head in hands. Eyes flooded with tears. He definitely felt like a bad person. Playing two hearts but also playing with his own. It felt like one was forever and the other for the moment. But the moment felt right. What if, the moment is not only for the moment, and it's forever too? 

Between Dreams & Reality

Sometimes, the most precious things in the world are meant to fly free. They are yours for only a moment before they slip away, leaving you with a haunting sense of what-ifs. I’ve been in relationships before, but this time was different. This time, I was truly happy. She was like the scent of freshly brewed coffee in the morning. Falling for her felt like summer rain—at first, a light drizzle, then a hurricane; with thunder and lightning, intense and fast, meant to dishevel, but never to last. I still remember the first time we spoke. There was an immediate connection, like an invisible thread tying us together, something strong and unbreakable. When I say unbreakable, I mean that no matter how hard we tried to distance ourselves or un-feel what was between us, the invisible string kept pulling us back together. This was different from any relationship I had before. It made me reflect deeply and left me wondering. If she had stayed, maybe I could have loosened the threads enough t...