For Richer For Poorer

A few times, while chilling out with the boys the issue of marriage pops up. Love they say, springs as lightly from the human heart as springs the lovely rose upon the brier. A scary endeavor to some. Marriage, the subtlest work of art of all the arts which lift the spirit high. The many try, but oh! How few are they to whom that finest of the arts is given. My stand, a skeptical one as always. 

Took me a while into an argument with the boys to realize that, the topic of marriage was one we were never going to get our wits to agree on. They all have this enormous faith in this marital institution, whereas I on the other hand think the whole institution is a sham. Maybe, just maybe, it’s because I’m still young and my view of the world is still myopic or it’s because I was raised by a single mum who has nothing but horrible if not terrifying stories and memories about her so called union or it’s just that I’ve been skeptical for so long I tend to have lost sense of what is possible and what is not.

Familiarity breeds contempt, in this context, makes sense to me. Not because whoever came up with it was wise but rather a bitter husband or wife coming out of a, not bad but a not working out marriage and after failing to figure out what happened to that charming husband or wife who they swore to be by each other’s side for better, for worse decided to blame it on familiarity.

I really doubt a feeling is enough to keep two people together for the mortal eternity and not end up despising each other. This is why most marriages need anchors called kids to hold steady their marriage and keep it from wandering off to a messy end called divorce because, come on, there is nothing like an amicable divorce. It may take some time but later it comes to the same end result “hating each other’s guts”. No one ever thinks this day would come. How you used to laugh and talk all night, all that gone. 

Then again, why divorce to end up as friends! This is almost like a kidnapper asking you to keep in touch after releasing you or keeping a dead pet. I think if you divorce you should not be in the same city. If possible you all should find your own continents and stay there. 

The common phrase “kufunga pingu za maisha” should be warning enough to every single man and woman. At a risk of sounding hopeless I’m telling you there is no way the person who came up with this Swahili phrase was happily married because there is no scenario in my head where handcuffs and happiness are used in the same sentence, excluding fifty shades of grey, which come to think about it ended up with the guy not getting the girl. So sad. 

At the end of our argument we laughed at each other’s plans as we tried to guess who was stupid enough to tie the knot first. They all swore to attend my wedding since I was the most sceptic. I really hope my view and perception of marriage changes, which I really doubt. This way i will enter the institution with pure intention other than loneliness and desire to fit in the highly judgmental society.

~ DonDram